December 27, 2008

i have seasonal depression- it's self diagnosed.
i'm not quite sure when this started, but it makes me wonder
because i feel so claustrophobic when its cold and rainy, snowy, or icy.
but when we lived in maine, i don't remember feeling this way.
which is bizarre because winters were 6 months long
and today is 70 degrees. and i feel okay. it's kind of gloomy.

i guess it doesn't really matter.
i don't want any sort of medicine
maybe one of those bright lights that is supposed to help.
or some company.

how do you feel?

December 10, 2008

a house is not a hotel.

i am transitioning and it's exciting.
i've channeled in some more creativity; the lack from before was causing a problem.
my boss and his wife are having a baby. how wonderful!
exam week is proving to be total destruction;
2 exams and 1 paper down. 2 more exams and 1 more paper to go. yikes.
plans for a 5 person tandem, a mansion [the brothel, shittlesworth, what have you]
i think the end of this year will be tame.

i will not be around here this time next year.

November 29, 2008

year of the cat

we dig holes and hide seeds
they break the surface weeks later
in each pocket--
treasures rest
all you ask is for an open window and a bowl of milk
you speak in a language i don't understand
and i am up late most nights-
trying to translate
i spell out sentences on my refrigerator
i investigate small scratching noises in the closet
each time coming to the conclusion that we have guests
living with us in our house
you learn to share your food, your space
and i do too as we have peaceful invaders with no ill intent

and when you sleep, i can hear you dreaming

November 23, 2008

wake up little eyes

wake up little eyes
Originally uploaded by mount olive
college is a problem
working 30 minutes away is a problem
having no motivation is a problem!

i've come so far, but college is seriously bummin' me out right now.

October 15, 2008

If you're not registered, that is a bummer

I just watched the Katie Couric interview with Sarah Palin.
Well, first I watched the Saturday Night Live version, which is funny
but when I saw the actual interview, it wasn't much different.
Palin is so spacey in the interview that it makes me worried for her
and while many are saying Couric was too rough on her, I think that is crap,
we need to be intense in our question-asking, we need to inquire
and when a candidate of vice presidential candidate is vague,
we need to call them out on it.

I'm not a democrat, or a republican. I'm independent,
but i know who i'm voting for this time around.
McCain-Palin scares the shit out of me.
Basically, watch interviews and debates, because they tell you more
than the websites of the candidates do.

Also, for all you Cincinnati cats, there is an Obama rally in fountain square
Thursday October 16 and the national is playing

October 5, 2008

bobby malone moves home

bobby malone moves home
Originally uploaded by mount olive
i uploaded some photos on flickr.
i think this week will be nice. i have things to do
but they are spread out.
anyway i don't say things i would if i were just a light.

chris and i celebrated our year and one half.
this is excellent. real time love if you feel me.

July 31, 2008

my computer's hard drive died

literally. I lost everything i had.
my photography, my writings, my school stuff, my music.
there was no apparent reason, my mac's drive just self destructed.
I was really upset but now i'm not.
the repairs didn't cost anything and they gave me leopard for free.

although i lost a lot of my work. i feel liberated.
i haven't been as enthused about my recent work, and now its gone.
i'm going to make more art and just move on. maybe this helped to cleanse the palette

i've finally been able to figure out what my first poetry book will be titled.
and i think it's going to be big for me.

anyway, i've learned my lesson, i need to back things up.

i love you all,

July 27, 2008

i think bone density is a conspiracy

i had a bad "family" day yesterday. mom and dad are out of town,
sister, aunt and grandma were there.
sister picks on me a lot and takes things too far.
after i left the house to go home, i stopped by to feed gigi's cats
i really haven't felt weird about that much
but today i did and i was upset. i guess i hate loose ends.
so either way, it was a rotten day which i don't have much of. but yesterday.. oh yeah it was.
chris is out of town too, which makes things more difficult, especially since he is mountain manning it up
which means i can't really get a hold of him. yikes.
Katherine and Jason, my dear dear friends had me over last night and were so understanding.
they even took me out for ice cream which really cheered me up and we played with poko the guinea pig
needless to say, my bad day was turned around because of such great friends.
when i'm around them and chris isn't there, it isn't a big deal because they don't pda, you know?
so it's really nice. i love them. i am so blessed.

I know God takes care of me no matter what, but he created friends to work through when things are bad.
I know God has created this friendship because i can see God in both of them.

i'm happy, okay?

June 29, 2008

its been raining a lot lately.
i need time to think, time to do something different.

God has really been on my mind lately
i've been really receptive to feelings about places and people
i bought my mom jesus for president and i hope she likes it
i have a box full of vases outside collecting water.

i have a christopher. i love that, love him.

i want indian food. who wants to go?

June 26, 2008

its the art of feeling naked in your clothes

so i have been jazzed on this whole idea of a politically and socially conscious bible study.
last night i saw shane claiborne on he Jesus for president tour.
i am thinking we could read that book together.

i want to do this before the election.

who's in?

also, i feed the neighborhood stray cats
and i'm going to argosy casino with my family tomorrow.

there is nothing to top that.

June 21, 2008

my cat likes indian food.

i went out today with katherine.
it's really nice doing that these days.
boo got sick today, pre-indian food,
but post-strawberry yogurt.

i like to share, but he can't do moderation.

i really don't like the mall kiosks or the scary man at forever 21.
tonight, i'm going out with some friends for a birthday.

see, i have things to do, impressive.

June 4, 2008

Honey Bee

bekah hasn't been to the house in weeks
it's really lonely over here on 2346 flora street
the storms have left me a little on edge too
come on over and visit, please.

went to the blue rock for karaoke night
i embarrassingly performed "this is how we do it"
and realized how bad of an idea it was one verse in

editing these wedding photos will take about 10 years.

i am a really fun friend if you would give me a chance.
i want to go shopping soon. yikes.

open your eyes
open your eyes
open your eyes

June 1, 2008

"i learned how to fish."

i didn't catch anything.
rachael was home for a few days
but i was out of town this weekend taking photos for a wedding;
i went to see her tonight and i cried
i cried because i have not seen or even really talked to her since she left
that was six months ago
it felt like she was dead and i was seeing her alive again
but she'll be going back and gone until december. maybe staying in kansas city forever.
and when i think about it, i cry.
i do that a lot these days, not always because i am sad, but because things are beautiful
and i can't express myself any other way.

congratulations to Julia and Steve, you two are adorable.

May 13, 2008

Suffragette city

Suffragette city
Originally uploaded by missbecki
serious things happen rarely.

i received a key to the store today.
competed in lurkathon 2008
a got bumped up in my dosage of levoxyl
if you don't know what that is, look it up.

May 7, 2008

season of the shark

season of the shark
Originally uploaded by missbecki
i would like to receive bills at home.
to check the outlets, the stove
to romp around in the same white dress for days.
you had a difficult time, kept updates about me.
i still don't understand why.

this week has been bad. very very bad. that is, in terms of college.
i have no desire to work on class assignments.
history is not a priority, neither is sociology.
economics is beyond me, and the planning students scare me.

june 14th seems a ways away.

February 5, 2008

i do not read the reviews.

i do not read the reviews.
Originally uploaded by missbecki
i am disappearing at a very fast rate now
i think i am genie.
i get confused when i think i know what big words mean.