its a blessing to meet new people

I have so much on my mind right now, its insane. let me start out by saying i watched requiem for a dream for the first time. i've never had the desire to see it because of it's graphic content. i'm not one to watch movies that are overly violent or gory but i felt a push to see it and now that i have i know exactly what that push was. i have always felt sorry for people who struggled with addictions but i never fully understood the issue and i always set it on the back burner so to speak. I finally have decided to deal with the issue and look into more as God has been opening my eyes to it all. After the movie, i was thoroughly disturbed which i think is the point, God doesn't want us to stay in our comfort zones. I thought about addictions A LOT afterwards and have had about 5 conversations in the 2 days since about different substance abuses and addictions that are personal stories. i am still amazed at how God tells me things.. seriously. Today driving down to over-the-rhine, i saw a drug deal next to my car as i was at a light. i know they happen all of the time, but i've never seen one before and it brought me back to things i've heard before and things i've thought about. it was shocking. just last night at dinner my sister was telling me how she had a gun held to her head as her boyfriend at the time was buying drugs in madisonville. the whole drug culture is so insane i can't even understand it. i've definitely made it a priority to take an addictions class at UC. I talked to my friend tim a bit today about it and how it is more about making society in a way so that people don't turn to selling drugs to get by. it is a systemic issue. back to OTR, i met these three guys while walking to the drop inn center and they were really nice guys, passing out what they had and praying for people. (I think prayer is the best gift we can share with each other).  We exchanged contact information for the future so we could go to down to OTR together which ended up being even more of a blessing as they ran out of gas and called me. i gave them a ride to the gas station and we talked more and it was a great opportunity. I love to meet new people and without even bringing it up, one of the guys started talking about addictions. WOAH! i just can't believe how much God is pounding this idea into my head, especially when i am trying to find a new place to work that will be more in my line of work. this is all just so incredible!

on a side note, i felt very frustrated today before OTR because no one was coming down. It has been Brennen and I mostly for a while and i just feel like no one cares anymore. the people who started it or came down regularly have either moved away, left for school or just don't even come down at all (not sure why). Its difficult to explain where everyone is now, people ask where everyone is, they ask about people by name and i never know what to say. i keep praying for this ministry but its hard when no one is committing or really caring anymore. I used to be out of town every other weekend so i understand, but now i'm back and i see that no one is coming down anymore. I guess all of this to say if anyone wants to come down, please do. we need all the people we can get. If we give up on these people, it will impact them... seriously. 

i have read the right books
to interpret your looks
you were knocking me down
with the palm of your eye

i cannot even begin to explain what has happened.
i will be setting sail next weekend and return not long after.
tears in my eyes, because i have explained it all to you and your face does not change.

i am nobody's little weasel.

you smell like the forest.

what could something like this mean to you?

to sleep in the field without a blanket;

to choke on nothing and blame it on something.

in an alternate universe

you would make me special mix tapes

in an alternate universe

i would not have this perpetual stomach ache.

more adventurous

this is a weird and exciting time.
i can't say i have any regrets or feelings of longing.
i signed up for classes, here they are;

• urban spatial structure
  
• planning economics
  
• homelessness (i know, right?!)
  
• creative writing: poetry
  
• social inequality
  

i'm going grocery shopping alone today.

i'm not sure how that makes me feel.

lately; i love the dirty projectors.
i spent hours at blue byrd with meggo
getting her tattoo worked on, which was
enough time to convince me to get my
nose pierced.....finally.

i am obsessed with missed connections.
i read them all the time and save the really great ones.

it is superbowl sunday, i am not so excited
homework will still have to wait.