i can still go there

i had a realization while in half-moon tonight at yoga.

i spent some time thinking and praying in the steam room afterwards

and came home knowing i had to write something for class 

i had to produce a poem although i could have brought in something old

my eyes are red and swollen because i have literally been sobbing

but i have a new piece that came out of this

and i rather like it, though it was painful to produce.

i'm willing to share it with you if you would like, (nathan) or whoever else.

but i'd rather email it to you as it is very personal. 

lately i have been doing things because they feel good not because they are right or wrong. i don't know why, but it is how it is. 

yesterday it felt like the thread that was through my heart was finally being tugged upward and it didn't feel good, it didn't hurt, but it was uncomfortable.

i don't know how else to say anything or how to not be awkward in social situations that include you. either way it is appropriate to say that if you were outta here, i don't know how i'd feel but maybe a little relieved. 

i believe in you

in your honesty in your eyes

even when i'm sloshing in the muck of my demise

a large part of me is always and forever tied to the lamplight

of your eyes

life i love you,

all is groovy

we laughed so much then we cried all night 

and you left your shoes in the tree with me 

i'll wear them to your house tonight 

magic in the air tonight

we slept on leaves on my drive all night

and you gave me no restime

nothing in this life for me tonight

but nothing ever seemed so bright