Lucid Dreamer

This picture-
With rounded edges and a tear in the lower corner.
I’m examining.
Viewing its movement as it rips through my body; a map missing the north arrow

Mostly, we are two redheads with matching canary coats
We are lit candlesticks in the middle of a winter night
Orbiting around something that I can only see now
Imprisoned by the film,
Light leaks in. Amber; or perhaps the last leaf suspended by gravity
Making its grand entrance, sashaying in, only for a brief moment

Military gold buttons, scarf that she wore only once
He took this photo of two friends while walking backwards.
My smile distracts.
But inside there are tears-
Pearls hidden away in an oyster
Eventually he broke me open with a rock
And everything came spilling out
Pieces of shell left to glitter on the concrete
Becoming a galaxy now, with no home for the spirit to return to

I still can’t figure out why,
But this photograph sends lightning into dark rooms
Sparks to remind me-
Of the night he was leaving, packing things up
And softly crying.

And even though the skeleton is buried in the backyard
In a box under trampled soil and a small tree,
Bones resurface when I see this photograph
And beg for my hand,
Until I am a kite,
Tossed by the wind and then tangled waiting for the black widow
With her silk cocoon and poison fang

do you want to run with my pack?

do you want to ride on my back?

pray that what you lack

does not distract

even when you touch my face-

you know your place.

Ophelia

You have one hour-Before everyone gets back to have dinner outside, in the sand

Waves crawl up and down- indecisive
Drawing back empty shells tangled in seaweed-
A maritime necklace

The heat radiates around the sand
And you feel a cosmic pull to the Atlantic
So you take yourself down, to the edge of it all
And slip into pearly foam
Realize you’re not alone

You’ve grown tired of starchy sails
So you become only the frame
And the water, salty and pure, laps in and out of your ribs
As I float nearby, partially submerged and out of body

And when your bony fingers grace my hair
Drifting widely, seaweed colored through the lens of the Atlantic
You are surprised that I am here
And we disperse until I am but a pale cloud when you dip underneath

And you cry and shake,
Sending vibrations
Like the heavy breath of a fault-line
But with the body of water
It is disguised

i went to merrillville this weekend with tim and anthony. it was fun to get away but the trip back was pretty long and weird things kept happening. boo and i are reunited (and it feels so good!)

that poem that i wrote ended up being praised by my professor as the best poem handed in!

it made me feel as though all of that spilled emotion the night before was worth it.

i guess it is worth it to illustrate your feelings because others will appreciate it in the end.

i am meeting with a professor from last quarter to try and swing a grade change and then classes all day and then i'm going to the welcome house of northern kentucky to discuss what i'll be doing for volunteer work. my classes this quarter are fabulous except for one difficult one which is still interesting. i'm supposed to graduate in 1 year?! 

and to those of you who do not reply to messages sent asking questions about things, get on it, okay? we can't wait around forever!

have an absolutely fabulous day!